He Said What?

I was drivin home the other afternoon in my pickum up truck and decided to turn my radio on. No sooner had I done that and a guy on the radio was a askin me, “Are you currently thinking about your prostate health?” Huh, what did he say? Actually at that very moment I was thinkin about my neighbor Norma and a wishin summer and sunbathing would hurry up and get here.


Well this nincompoop started going on about givin your prostate vitamins because if you were getting old, it needed them. Now let me get this straight, I’m supposed to buy vitamins for my prostrate? Me? The guy with a back that loosens up about the time I’m getting ready to go to bed. Me, the guy with a big left toe that can tell you the current temperature within .5 degrees Fahrenheit? Me, the guy with the knee that sounds like it’s packed in cracked glass? I’m supposed to give vitamins to a prostate that only troubles me when I go to the doctor and he has that nasty smile and says, “Bend over Merle and let’s have a look.”

Yeah right, I’m gonna rush right out and buy me some prostate vitamins. I’ll do that right after I pick up some Ibuprofen for my back, a brace for my knee and right after I chop the damn big toe off. Oh, and right after I buy me a bottle of Jimmy Beam which is probably all the vitamins my prostrate needs in the first place. Now where was I? Oh, I was thinkin about Norma and suntan lotion. “Beam me up Scotty.”