I’ve been on watch for illegal’s here in my neck of the woods for months. It can be a rigorous undertaking, except on those days when my neighbor Norma’s out sun bathing, then it’s actually quite pleasurable! Well it hit me right twixt the eyes the other day on how to keep them Mexican fellers from tunneling into the States. Right twixt the eyes I tell ya!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I actually like the people from Mexico. They’re hard working people with great senses of humor. They’re family folk and they’ll cuff their kid’s once in a while if the little brats get out of line. On top of that they can sing a tad too and that scores big with ole Merle on account I’m a lover of the arts. Especially the stuff in Playboy, but I digress. I just think that them folks ought to come here legally on a train or bus instead of swimming across a river and risk drownin and besides, after a while there ain't gonna be enough restaurants or lawns to keep em busy up here anyways.
That’s when it hit me! I was watching a couple of these fellers the other day in the neighborhood and you had the one guy just a mowin up a storm and his partner with one of those damn "leaf blowers" just a blowin up a storm. I have no idea where these guys blow the grass to, but they go up and down the street first blowin the grass that way and then here they come back a blowin the same grass, only now they’re a goin this a way. Seems pretty damn stupid to me cause we used to just burn it, but there we go again, a creatin them Carbon Signatures and such. They must have got that stupid name from pencils. One of them Yahoo’s probably signed something with a pencil one day and then blurted out, “Look, a Carbon Signature.“ I’ll guarantee ya the guy was a first rate Moron. Bingo! I’ll bet it was Al Gore! It’s a perfect fit and he probably claimed he invented "Yahoo.com." Although there might be some truth to that one, but then I digress.
Well with them fellers gleefully mowin the grass and then blowin it every which way day and night I’ve got the perfect solution. Some Roy Roger’s music please! They ain’t got grass in Mexico, right? Nothing but hard scrabble down there. I propose we donate a million mowers and a million leaf blowers to the government of Mexico, pipe some water down there and teach em how to grow their own grass! I told ya it was brilliant. If them fellers can grow Mariajoowanna, they can certainly grow green grass. Hell, they’d stay right there in their own country as happy as Pig’s in Shit just wanderin their own damn streets a blowin the grass whichever way pleased em. A sort of Bob Dylan a "Blowin in the Wind." Hmm, I wonder why they call them “Leaf Blowers” if all they ever do is blow grass around. Another mystery of the Universe I guess. Sorry, I know I get a little "Imperfective" sometimes.
Well. If you don’t mind I noticed Norma just got home from workin at the Dairy Queen and the sun IS a shinin! I need to go get my camo gear on and climb into my backyard deer stand. I’ll be on the lookout for some illegal booty if you get my drift. Beam me up Scotty!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I actually like the people from Mexico. They’re hard working people with great senses of humor. They’re family folk and they’ll cuff their kid’s once in a while if the little brats get out of line. On top of that they can sing a tad too and that scores big with ole Merle on account I’m a lover of the arts. Especially the stuff in Playboy, but I digress. I just think that them folks ought to come here legally on a train or bus instead of swimming across a river and risk drownin and besides, after a while there ain't gonna be enough restaurants or lawns to keep em busy up here anyways.
That’s when it hit me! I was watching a couple of these fellers the other day in the neighborhood and you had the one guy just a mowin up a storm and his partner with one of those damn "leaf blowers" just a blowin up a storm. I have no idea where these guys blow the grass to, but they go up and down the street first blowin the grass that way and then here they come back a blowin the same grass, only now they’re a goin this a way. Seems pretty damn stupid to me cause we used to just burn it, but there we go again, a creatin them Carbon Signatures and such. They must have got that stupid name from pencils. One of them Yahoo’s probably signed something with a pencil one day and then blurted out, “Look, a Carbon Signature.“ I’ll guarantee ya the guy was a first rate Moron. Bingo! I’ll bet it was Al Gore! It’s a perfect fit and he probably claimed he invented "Yahoo.com." Although there might be some truth to that one, but then I digress.
Well with them fellers gleefully mowin the grass and then blowin it every which way day and night I’ve got the perfect solution. Some Roy Roger’s music please! They ain’t got grass in Mexico, right? Nothing but hard scrabble down there. I propose we donate a million mowers and a million leaf blowers to the government of Mexico, pipe some water down there and teach em how to grow their own grass! I told ya it was brilliant. If them fellers can grow Mariajoowanna, they can certainly grow green grass. Hell, they’d stay right there in their own country as happy as Pig’s in Shit just wanderin their own damn streets a blowin the grass whichever way pleased em. A sort of Bob Dylan a "Blowin in the Wind." Hmm, I wonder why they call them “Leaf Blowers” if all they ever do is blow grass around. Another mystery of the Universe I guess. Sorry, I know I get a little "Imperfective" sometimes.
Well. If you don’t mind I noticed Norma just got home from workin at the Dairy Queen and the sun IS a shinin! I need to go get my camo gear on and climb into my backyard deer stand. I’ll be on the lookout for some illegal booty if you get my drift. Beam me up Scotty!
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