Merle's Photographic Tips

That’s right! I got one of them point and shoot digital cameras the other day and boy have I fallen in love with photography! I mean, it’s a beautiful world out there and you can capture it now with ease usin one of these new fangled cameras.

Here’s a couple of tips I’ve already picked up and I’ve even included a photograph I recently took to illustrate my meanin. The first thing you want to do is compose the picture properly. Now I realize for you beginners you were thinkin I meant write some music or manure or some such thing. Nimrods! "COMPOSE" means makin sure the picture draws your attention to an interesting feature of the subject being photographed. For example in the featured picture everything draws you in towards my neighbor Norma’s butt. Pretty slick if you ask me!

Now another important point is to try and capture your pictures in a more natural surrounding. In this case I had to sneak up and climb a tree in my neighbor Riley’s yard and then make sure I blended in to my surroundings by wearing my camouflage gear. You’ll note in the picture that my subject ain’t got an inkling I’m about to make her famous on the internet.

Another thing you got to watch out for is camera shake. You don’t want to blur the fine features of the subject being photographed, so a snoot of Beam seems to help. Hell, between hanging from the tree and the excitement of capturing a fine image of exquisite beauty I was a shakin like a leaf! Damn near fell out of the tree, but I lashed myself to a large branch with my ever faithful duct tape and the day was saved.

Finally I would like to point out that you don’t want to go runnin around braggin about your photographic talent. Ya need to be a little humble and keep your pie hole shut. It’s simply not a proper thing to do and I learned this the hard way. Turns out Norma’s husband Eldon got wind of my artistic endeavors and he’s threatened to beat me within an inch of my life. Ole Merle’s havin to lay a little low for a while if you get my drift. Ain’t really a problem though cause I got an 18” by 12” image of Norma’s best features plastered on the wall of my family room keeping me company. It’s hell being an artist, but I’ll persevere.